Hi Friends, many of you have been so sweet and reached out to us during our infertility journey. A lot of you have been going through the same situation and many of you different trials. A question we get asked often is how did we stay positive through infertility struggles? Today we are sharing 11 ways to push through these times!
We all have hard times, we all have challenges. If it’s not infertility, it’s something else. During these times in our lives we don’t want to let our struggles eat us alive, but make us stronger. We want to grow from our experiences, be able to empathize with others, and feel grateful for what we are going through. Of course this is easier said than done, but today I wanted to share with you a few things Jake and I have done during our infertility journey to help us move forward.
With that being said we’re not perfect. There were days that were harder than others during the infertility process. Some days I would have a melt down, other days Jake would be stressed out. But we tried to use these tactics below to stay positive and happy during the process.
Take Each Day By Day
Try and remember this time will pass. Take each day by day. If it is a hard day and it doesn’t seem to be turning around, sleep it off and know tomorrow is a new day! Go to sleep knowing that its going to be the best day ever when you wake up!
Have a journal or gratitude journal and write down one or 2 good things that went well that day. I would always write if someone sent me a nice text or phone call, or something that made me smile. Write down what you are grateful for and take time to focus on those.
I can’t stress this one enough! During this process there are a lot of new things that come up that you may not be used to. For instance, shots and medications. The injections were initially what scared me the most about IVF but those happen to be my favorite moments of the process. Jake and I had a lot of good laughs reenacting when I would feel faint, or him being so serious giving me the shots. If you are stressed or overwhelmed, try and see what could be funny about the situation and let it out…. laugh!
Take time during the journey to have a time out. Put your feet up, watch your favorite tv show, color or draw, sew, read a good novel, mediate, say a prayer, play a game, get a massage or something that helps you relax. Yes this can be a luxury with families and busy schedules, but make sure to take time for you to rejuvenate. If there is something small you can do each day to relax, go for it! This is a time in life to focus on becoming the best version of you for yourself and your future family 😉
Plan Some Activities
Plan some fun activities so you have things to look forward to. I would even recommend planning them with your spouse so you can use it as some bonding time together. During infertility treatments movies were our go-to! It was a nice activity we could go do together that was low stress and took our mind off things. If you enjoy going for walks, put them in your schedule and plan that time together. You could even plan a trip together or something you can each look forward to. We planned a trip that was soon after our embryo transfer that we knew could be a celebration trip that we were pregnant or a rejuvenation trip. (P.S. We learned Mexico is not where you should book a trip! hahaha Zika virus areas are something to be avoided during pregnancy!)
Create A Support Group
Let others in on what you are going through. When Jake and I realized IVF was the next step for us, we decided we were going to be open about the entire experience….good or bad. We knew if things were great, or things were bad, either way we needed a support crew. I can’t tell you how much it has meant to us for all of the friends, family and even online friends who have cheered us on in this journey. Being able to let people in on the day to day of the adventure helped me stay positive because I knew there were people cheering me on. It gave me so much strength!
If you are not comfortable opening up about your journey, challenge yourself to share your journey with 2 close friends you love and trust. Let them know what you need and ask them to check in on you. There is no need to go through a journey alone, when so many are willing to help cheer you on!
(P.S. If you are ever in Shanghai, go on the Bund Tunnel. It’s the coolest tunnel/transport ride of all time!)
Get Help Where Needed
Don’t be afraid to ask for help! If you have appointments but other kiddos at home, don’t be scared to ask for help. For me I didn’t like going to appointments alone, so after going to many alone, I learned to ask friends or family to come with me.
House cleaning?! Hire it out! I know this isn’t in the budget for everyone, but if it’s something that stresses you out, find a way. For us, we cut eating out and haircuts so we could hire some help cleaning. Whatever it is that would help take a load off, find a way to make it happen.
Find Ways To Serve
Serving others will always leave you with a great feeling, and the one you served feeling loved. There were so many that reached out and served Jake and I during our infertility journey that helped make our load light. It always made me want to find ways to lift someone else’s spirit. It could be as simple or complex as you want. Some fun ideas could be writing a card of admiration, getting an extra drink at the drive through at taking it to a friend, walking a neighbors dog, thanking someone who helped you, smiling at a neighbor, etc.
Focus On What You Can Control
Lets be honest, in life there are so many things that are out of on our control. Especially in the infertility process. Focus on what you can be in charge of like your outlook. This process can be full of ups and downs. Exciting moments and moments that make us want to cry. We can’t control our outcome or what happens but we can control our attitude and outlook.
Listen or Read Motivational Books
It’s always a great idea to listen to uplifting books that inspire you, but when you have something difficult you’re going through it is crucial to fill your mind with positivity! Audio books are my favorite because I can listen to them while I eat food or fold laundry. Find little snippets of time to fill your mind with inspiration and happiness!
Be Excited For What’s To Come
Find ways to think of the bigger picture. To be honest, non of us know how our journey will end, but just know if you trust in God, put your best foot forward, it will all work out. If there are inspirational quotes you love, print them out and put them where you will see them everyday. Create a vision board for what you want your life to look like, and hold on to that dream. Keep pushing for it!
We actually took these photos on an early babymoon to Shanghai to celebrate the coming of our twin girls 🙂 I was 17 weeks pregnant in these photos. 4 years ago I had no idea we would be pregnant with twin girls. We still don’t know how this journey of life will end up for us, or what our infertility adventure will look like in the future. But I do know whatever happens will be meant to be. Going through the infertility process honesty has been an amazing experience for Jake and I. Through the process we were able to learn so much more about the way our bodies work. We have found ways to push through financial hurdles to pay for treatments. As a couple we have found new ways to respect and love one another. We have grown to love and respect our community that has rallied for us and our future babies. I wouldn’t trade this adventure we have gone through together for anything! My love for others, my Savior and my spouse have grown so much, and I will always be forever grateful for that.